Photo by Jakob Owens on Unsplash The argument isn’t really about what you think it’s about. If you’ve been in a long-term relationship, you know the feeling. A familiar tension rises, words are exchanged, and somewhere in the middle of it, a quiet, exhausted part of you thinks we’ve been here before. Most couples find […]
There is a moment when life as you know it ends. It might come in a phone call. A diagnosis. A doctor walking into the room.One sentence, and everything changes. An email I received from a reader provoked this article. She wrote “I’m 50 years old, sitting in a hospital room with my 43-year-old husband, […]
What if the way we protect ourselves is also what keeps us from feeling fully alive? For many years, I found myself saying, “If I were queen…” whenever I felt frustrated with the way people behave and the way the world works. This was long before “No Kings” became a thing. I objected to so […]
Opening Story Living alone, I have often found it difficult to ask for help when I need it. After a knee replacement surgery, I called my friend June and asked if she could pick up lunch for me while she was out running errands. I expected an immediate “Yes, of course.” But, she hesitated, […]
The Hidden Cost of Perfectionism Perfectionism is one of the most socially rewarded forms of self-rejection. To the perfectionist, perfectionism looks responsible and disciplined. It even looks admirable. But underneath its polished surface, it is often driven not by excellence, but by fear. Fear of being judged. Fear of being inadequate. Fear of getting it […]
Do you ever get red hot mad at someone? I used to call it my Irish temper. Over time, I came to a deeper understanding of what is actually happening when my emotional reaction is disproportionate to the situation at hand. Here’s an example. One day I was meeting a friend for coffee. At the […]
You wake up, get out of bed, move through your morning routine, and nothing is technically wrong. Your life is functioning. Your calendar is full. You are doing what needs to be done. And yet, somewhere beneath the surface, there is a faint sense of unease. Not dramatic. Not urgent. Just there. You might not […]
You are the one who remembers.Who follows through.Who handles things when they fall apart. Others rely on you. Things work because you are there. And yet, at times, you feel inexplicably tired or flat. Not burned out exactly. Just quietly worn down. If you are honest, there may be moments when you wonder how you […]
At the heart of every relationship is a simple and often challenging truth: the other person is not you. They do not think like you, perceive the world like you, or experience life through your nervous system. They are living inside an entirely different inner universe. Different is not wrong. What often feels threatening is […]
Have you ever noticed that wherever you go, whatever you do, your attitude goes with you and colors your experience? This is why it is critically important that we raise the level of consciousness from which we are living our lives. How? By choosing to be conscious and responsible for how we show up in […]