Anytime you allow anything or anyone outside yourself to cause you to choose hurt and to be disturbed inside yourself, then you are being shown how you can strengthen your understanding of the first and second laws of Spirit, to accept and cooperate, no matter what, no matter who. That can be a very tall order that perhaps only God in the flesh could fully express.
Nonetheless, the opportunity for you to fully accept and cooperate is available which can lead to realization of understanding, enthusiasm and compassion for exactly what is the reality of the situation. — John Morton
Understanding is a quality or condition of one’s consciousness associated with perceiving and comprehending the nature and significance of a person, situation, or experience. As the laws of spirit unfold, understanding typically comes forward once acceptance and cooperation have been achieved. Sometimes this is a rapid sequence of events and other times it takes years and years to work yourself through to understanding. Personally, it’s the acceptance part that is typically the hardest for me. Once I accept something, cooperation and understanding are pretty much a no-brainer.
Have you ever had one of those implausible streams of events that led you through twists and turns to just where you needed to be for something important to line up in your life? More and more, I am finding that happening followed by an “Aha!” moment of understanding why all those things had to happen. And, because I have a deep sense of God’s presence in my life and understand the karmic component of many experiences in my life, I often smile when these things happen.
Here’s an example. I went to my sister-in-law’s retirement party and was amazed by her startling success with the Ideal Protein diet. I had been looking for many years for a weight loss program that I believed in and felt confident would bring me success. Having hurt my knee several weeks before, I went to the chiropractor when I returned. I’ve been going to her for over two years and seldom had a physical adjustment. Instead, we used NET — a muscle-testing technique that identifies and releases mental and emotional blockages held in the body. I had been doing this work primarily to prepare myself to cooperate on a mental and emotional level with whatever weight loss program I choose.
This time, my chiropractor asks me to let her brand new associate look at my knee. She does so, and with my permission, gives me extensive adjustments. While lying on my stomach, I notice that she has a reverse crease in one of her toes. Curious, I ask about it and find that it makes her self-conscious. I apologize for bringing it up. She says “No problem — it’s mine and I have to deal with it.” Now sitting up, I grab my excess belly and say “I have to deal with this.” She grabs her belly and says “I know what you mean, I have to deal with this.” I mention that I am exploring a diet program that I am interested in and tell her it is the Ideal Protein diet. She just about falls on the floor in surprise, saying she has been studying this diet for a year now and is in the process of signing up to be a coach. I jump for joy because the deal breaker for me with the program had been the requirement to drive 90 minutes to a program center each week, and she would be local! We agreed to start later this week and for about an hour the little kid inside of me was so happy I could hardly contain myself.
So, one major form of understanding that arises in our lives when we accept and cooperate with whatever is happening is the wonders of 20/20 hindsight. Things often don’t make any kind of sense when we go through them, but later we can be filled with wonder at the perfection of what has happened and how meaningful it is to us.
Sometimes I just can’t get to square one with acceptance at all, for what seems like a lifetime and understanding is inconceivable. Many of my biggest life lessons have been this kind of struggle. When I am really lucky, a miracle of grace presents me with the opportunity to understand the situation first. In these cases the acceptance and cooperation follow easily. Here is an example that relates to my belief in karma, reincarnation and our essential identity as souls.
I had an extremely difficult relationship with my father. As a child, I could never please him. At the age of 7, I overheard him tell my mother that he loved my brother and sister, but I bugged him. I carried that as proof that he didn’t love me until my 50s. Then, several years after my father’s death, I had an extraordinary spiritual understanding that instantaneously freed me of my anger toward him. I was in a class doing a guided visualization process intended to bring forward deeper awareness of ourselves as souls. In the theater of my mind, I found myself sitting in a circle with my spiritual support team with an empty guest chair. My father appeared and took that chair. I became enraged, yelling at him that he had no right entering my safe and sacred spiritual circle of support. He was silent and sat there, somewhat humbly. I raged on, confronting him with his lack of love toward me all our shared lives together, saying how much he had hurt and wounded me and that I was now moving on with people who loved and supported me, and he was not welcome, and I wanted him to leave immediately.
One of my team members put his arm around my shoulder, and said, “I have an idea.” He suggested that since my father had shown up, perhaps there was some value there for me, and how about if we listen to what he has to say and then I could throw him out if that was still want I wanted to do. Subdued and slightly embarrassed by my tantrum, I acquiesced. I looked at my father and said “OK, so what do you have to say for yourself — why should I let you stay when you never showed me one ounce of love in my entire life?” He winced, and tears fell from his eyes, which shocked and softened me somehow. He looked me straight in the eye and told me he was only doing his job — it was part of his assignment as a soul to be my father, never showing me any signs of love or affection. This was intended to serve as a means of assisting me in learning to turn inward and upward to find my truth rather than seeking it out in the world. Instantly, that made perfect sense to me. My eyes filled with tears, my anger fell away, and something let go within me that had restrained me all my life. Somehow, I knew that what he was saying was true. I also knew that for the first time in my life, I was seeing my father, a fellow human being, as a soul. We were communicating soul to soul, and that changed me forever after. The reality of our essential identities as souls came through in that moment, through that experience, in a way that redefined me.
In that moment, I glimpsed a spiritual reality so profound that it changed my history with my father. I no longer saw him as the heartless, self-centered ogre who could not and would not love me. I realized that as a soul, it had been an extraordinary act of love for him to take on that awful role in my life, knowing that I would hate him, and that he could never demonstrate his love for me or receive love from me. A deep taproot of anger, tension, and self-rejection was pulled out of me in that moment as I rose into my soul and knew us both as innocent and pure souls rather than as damaged people. We were just two sweet souls playing characters whose egos had been out of balance in the karmic dramas of our lives. I finally understood that we were right on course with God’s perfect wisdom, timing, and plan, balancing our karma and learning our lessons.
The Laws of Spirit are governing principles that provide access to the knowledge of ourselves as divine as well as human beings. In order to access our deeper spiritual truth, we must learn to accept, cooperate with and learn to understand even the most challenging people, situations, and circumstances in our lives. They guide us through a process of surrender that enables us to trust ourselves and God. Without this journey, we are left to live lives defined merely by our personalities, human faculties, and desires. It is the spiritual dimension that provides awesome meaning to our lives. The Laws of Spirit serve as the gateways to that dimension.
I hope you will tune in next week for the fourth Law of Spirit — loving. Until then, I look forward to your responses and reactions to this piece.
If you would like to know more about me and my work, please explore my website here.
Also, if you know anyone who might get value from this article please email or retweet it or share it on Facebook.
How to Be an Awesome Human Being
I always thought that babies should come with operating instructions and that parents-to-be should be required to pass a parenting test. After all, a license is required to drive a car. Surely a course in the basics of taking care of a baby’s physical and emotional needs would help. Beyond these basics, I dream of a world that acknowledges and nurtures the spiritual dimension of our being and teaches us how to be awesome human beings. It’s really very simple. It’s just not very easy. It takes a lot of focus, willingness and practice, practice, practice.
Being an awesome human being requires mastering the fine art of being a human being. The “man” part of being human has been carefully defined to distinguish us from “other primates.” Man/woman comes equipped with opposable thumbs, an erect posture, a highly developed brain, the capacity for abstract reasoning, and the ability to communicate and organize information based on a symbolic system of language. The “hu” part is best understood when we realize that it is a Sanskrit name for God that predates the anthropomorphic image of God as a fatherly, human figure. So, to be “human” means to be both divine and earthly at the same time. What a balancing act — to be a soul or spiritual being having an earthly embodiment.
To be an awesome human being requires three things:
That’s it — just three things!
First, let’s look at what it means to be simultaneously aware of our spiritual and earthly existence. Wrapping our brains around this means grasping that we are at once limitless yet limited, of God yet earthly, finite yet eternal. We have the freedom to explore the vast complexity of our being as much or as little as we choose. Unfortunately, for many people there is no structure or stimulation in their lives to motivate such an exploration.
The world’s great religious teachings are filled with passages about what it means to be fully human. In The Wisdom Jesus, for example, Cynthia Bourgeault suggests that the incarnation of Jesus served the purpose of showing humanity how to fulfill “our only truly essential human task here … to grow beyond the survival instincts of the animal brain and egoic operating system into the kenotic joy and generosity of full human personhood.” Bourgeault notes how this claim of Jesus as the Christian role model for the human challenge of synthesizing physical and spiritual existence is affirmed in the gospels. Jesus frequently uses the term “I am,” as in “‘I am the shepherd,’ ‘I am the door,’ ‘I am the vine,’ ‘I am at your heart’s door knocking,’ ‘I am in you and you in me’ … In so doing, Jesus has identified himself with being itself.”
Whether looking through the lens of Christianity or some other theistic perspective, the challenge to know ourselves as both divine and earthly is there to be reconciled, and as Bourgeault suggests, it is our only essential human task. To know and to welcome God’s presence in ourselves is a worthy and essential vocation for us all.
The second requirement of being an awesome human being activates our conscious intention and choice. To live consciously requires the willingness to hold oneself responsible and accountable for one’s thoughts and behaviors. This eliminates such excuses as “I wasn’t thinking” or “I wasn’t paying attention.” To live consciously means to hold the intention of keeping your awareness present in the moment and building the ability to notice when your attention wanders to the past or future and then bringing it home to the present. It takes practice.
To live consciously from the inside out, deeply connected to the truth as you know it, means connecting the observations of your conscious awareness in the moment to the wisdom and truth that has been activated in your consciousness. A far richer life can be led from this deeper place of truth rather than the egoic external orientation of personal preferences and approval-seeking. When we reach outside for gratification, we are telling ourselves we are not enough and thus reside in a consciousness of lack. When we express outwardly from that deep inner place of truth, we have the ability to recognize what is true for us in the world because it resonates with the truth within us.
Finally, to love ourselves and others without conditions is the crowning achievement. This is not a matter of romantic love, but rather the feeling and expression of devotion to the well-being of ourselves and one another. It is a recognition of our kinship and underlying oneness. When we love in this way, we make nothing more important than loving one another. This kind of love is the most powerful force in the universe. It unites us as one through the trials and triumphs of life. Without it, we are separated by our judgments and personal, positional preferences. With it, we are magnificent. This kind of love is achieved through compassionate and caring choices made repeatedly day after day until it becomes who and how we are.
To be an awesome human being is not a matter of being perfect, for perfection does not exist in human form. We can only strive to do our best, humbled by the knowledge that we do in fact stumble and fall, and that those seeming “failures” are usually our most wonderful life lessons. To be awesome is to recognize and accept the challenge of being the very best “you” that you can be. Those who live this way serve as an inspiration to others to do and be the very best they can.
If you would like to know more about me and my work, please explore my website here.
Also, if you know anyone who might get value from this article please email or retweet it or share it on Facebook.
Understanding: The Third Law of Spirit
Anytime you allow anything or anyone outside yourself to cause you to choose hurt and to be disturbed inside yourself, then you are being shown how you can strengthen your understanding of the first and second laws of Spirit, to accept and cooperate, no matter what, no matter who. That can be a very tall order that perhaps only God in the flesh could fully express.
Nonetheless, the opportunity for you to fully accept and cooperate is available which can lead to realization of understanding, enthusiasm and compassion for exactly what is the reality of the situation. — John Morton
Understanding is a quality or condition of one’s consciousness associated with perceiving and comprehending the nature and significance of a person, situation, or experience. As the laws of spirit unfold, understanding typically comes forward once acceptance and cooperation have been achieved. Sometimes this is a rapid sequence of events and other times it takes years and years to work yourself through to understanding. Personally, it’s the acceptance part that is typically the hardest for me. Once I accept something, cooperation and understanding are pretty much a no-brainer.
Have you ever had one of those implausible streams of events that led you through twists and turns to just where you needed to be for something important to line up in your life? More and more, I am finding that happening followed by an “Aha!” moment of understanding why all those things had to happen. And, because I have a deep sense of God’s presence in my life and understand the karmic component of many experiences in my life, I often smile when these things happen.
Here’s an example. I went to my sister-in-law’s retirement party and was amazed by her startling success with the Ideal Protein diet. I had been looking for many years for a weight loss program that I believed in and felt confident would bring me success. Having hurt my knee several weeks before, I went to the chiropractor when I returned. I’ve been going to her for over two years and seldom had a physical adjustment. Instead, we used NET — a muscle-testing technique that identifies and releases mental and emotional blockages held in the body. I had been doing this work primarily to prepare myself to cooperate on a mental and emotional level with whatever weight loss program I choose.
This time, my chiropractor asks me to let her brand new associate look at my knee. She does so, and with my permission, gives me extensive adjustments. While lying on my stomach, I notice that she has a reverse crease in one of her toes. Curious, I ask about it and find that it makes her self-conscious. I apologize for bringing it up. She says “No problem — it’s mine and I have to deal with it.” Now sitting up, I grab my excess belly and say “I have to deal with this.” She grabs her belly and says “I know what you mean, I have to deal with this.” I mention that I am exploring a diet program that I am interested in and tell her it is the Ideal Protein diet. She just about falls on the floor in surprise, saying she has been studying this diet for a year now and is in the process of signing up to be a coach. I jump for joy because the deal breaker for me with the program had been the requirement to drive 90 minutes to a program center each week, and she would be local! We agreed to start later this week and for about an hour the little kid inside of me was so happy I could hardly contain myself.
So, one major form of understanding that arises in our lives when we accept and cooperate with whatever is happening is the wonders of 20/20 hindsight. Things often don’t make any kind of sense when we go through them, but later we can be filled with wonder at the perfection of what has happened and how meaningful it is to us.
Sometimes I just can’t get to square one with acceptance at all, for what seems like a lifetime and understanding is inconceivable. Many of my biggest life lessons have been this kind of struggle. When I am really lucky, a miracle of grace presents me with the opportunity to understand the situation first. In these cases the acceptance and cooperation follow easily. Here is an example that relates to my belief in karma, reincarnation and our essential identity as souls.
I had an extremely difficult relationship with my father. As a child, I could never please him. At the age of 7, I overheard him tell my mother that he loved my brother and sister, but I bugged him. I carried that as proof that he didn’t love me until my 50s. Then, several years after my father’s death, I had an extraordinary spiritual understanding that instantaneously freed me of my anger toward him. I was in a class doing a guided visualization process intended to bring forward deeper awareness of ourselves as souls. In the theater of my mind, I found myself sitting in a circle with my spiritual support team with an empty guest chair. My father appeared and took that chair. I became enraged, yelling at him that he had no right entering my safe and sacred spiritual circle of support. He was silent and sat there, somewhat humbly. I raged on, confronting him with his lack of love toward me all our shared lives together, saying how much he had hurt and wounded me and that I was now moving on with people who loved and supported me, and he was not welcome, and I wanted him to leave immediately.
One of my team members put his arm around my shoulder, and said, “I have an idea.” He suggested that since my father had shown up, perhaps there was some value there for me, and how about if we listen to what he has to say and then I could throw him out if that was still want I wanted to do. Subdued and slightly embarrassed by my tantrum, I acquiesced. I looked at my father and said “OK, so what do you have to say for yourself — why should I let you stay when you never showed me one ounce of love in my entire life?” He winced, and tears fell from his eyes, which shocked and softened me somehow. He looked me straight in the eye and told me he was only doing his job — it was part of his assignment as a soul to be my father, never showing me any signs of love or affection. This was intended to serve as a means of assisting me in learning to turn inward and upward to find my truth rather than seeking it out in the world. Instantly, that made perfect sense to me. My eyes filled with tears, my anger fell away, and something let go within me that had restrained me all my life. Somehow, I knew that what he was saying was true. I also knew that for the first time in my life, I was seeing my father, a fellow human being, as a soul. We were communicating soul to soul, and that changed me forever after. The reality of our essential identities as souls came through in that moment, through that experience, in a way that redefined me.
In that moment, I glimpsed a spiritual reality so profound that it changed my history with my father. I no longer saw him as the heartless, self-centered ogre who could not and would not love me. I realized that as a soul, it had been an extraordinary act of love for him to take on that awful role in my life, knowing that I would hate him, and that he could never demonstrate his love for me or receive love from me. A deep taproot of anger, tension, and self-rejection was pulled out of me in that moment as I rose into my soul and knew us both as innocent and pure souls rather than as damaged people. We were just two sweet souls playing characters whose egos had been out of balance in the karmic dramas of our lives. I finally understood that we were right on course with God’s perfect wisdom, timing, and plan, balancing our karma and learning our lessons.
The Laws of Spirit are governing principles that provide access to the knowledge of ourselves as divine as well as human beings. In order to access our deeper spiritual truth, we must learn to accept, cooperate with and learn to understand even the most challenging people, situations, and circumstances in our lives. They guide us through a process of surrender that enables us to trust ourselves and God. Without this journey, we are left to live lives defined merely by our personalities, human faculties, and desires. It is the spiritual dimension that provides awesome meaning to our lives. The Laws of Spirit serve as the gateways to that dimension.
I hope you will tune in next week for the fourth Law of Spirit — loving. Until then, I look forward to your responses and reactions to this piece.
If you would like to know more about me and my work, please explore my website here.
Also, if you know anyone who might get value from this article please email or retweet it or share it on Facebook.
Love: The Fourth Law of Spirit
As the previous articles in this Laws of Spirit series attest, this sequence of spiritual wisdom steps can be enormously useful in extricating ourselves from the challenges we face each and every day. It is practical spirituality at its best. In order to get to the loving, we have to first work our way through our “issues.” This means doing what is necessary to achieve acceptance, cooperation, and understanding about whatever person, situation, or circumstance we are grappling with. Then, we are simply left with the loving that joins us together as one.
Spiritual love is characterized by deep peace, freedom, and an absence of resistance or “againstness.” When we love in this way, we unite and embrace the other. When love is unconditional, there is no withholding of our self in any way, nor is there any judgment of our self or others. There is no hidden agenda of how we want the situation or person to change. We may not like the person or situation involved very much, but we recognize that there is more going on in life than our personal preferences.
This love that joins us together as one is different from romantic love. It is not about feeling all warm and fuzzy and affectionate about something or someone. It is not characterized by intense desire and attraction. Rather, it is a sense of connection to an underlying unity of all that exists. It is a choice to be kind and compassionate based on an awareness that on a non-physical level we are so unified that whatever I do will affect you. It is transcendence over a personal agenda to a desire for the highest good of all concerned. Spiritual love says, “I might be distressed by you or your behavior on a personality level, but I know that spiritually, we are all one and I wish us no harm.”
Loving is love in action. It is about what we create, promote, and allow — our contribution. We don’t need to live our lives engaging in big and little battles each day with other people trying to further our personal agenda while they seek to advance their own. Alternatively, we can know ourselves as powerful creators and meet the situations in our lives from an awareness of oneness and caring about the highest good of all concerned. What would this look like? Consider the last time you and your spouse or a friend had a serious disagreement about something. Did you become curious about how and why they arrived at their point of view or were you too busy trying to get them to see things from your perspective? Regardless of what they were doing, the question is what were you doing in the discord? Were you seeking to restore harmony between you through mutual understanding or were you building a case for how wrong and unacceptable they and/or their behavior were? No matter what the other person did or did not do, when practicing spiritual loving we hold ourselves accountable for how we respond to the situation. We hold the intention of not doing any harm to ourselves or others. We do not fuel the fire of discord, but seek to remain connected at a deeper level in spite of our respective flaws.
I can’t help but wonder what would happen to our divorce rate if spouses were held accountable for their vows to love, honor, and cherish each other in good times and bad. The laws of spirit provide excellent guidance in how to do so. The missing ingredient is practice, practice, practice. The true value of working with the laws of spirit is that you feel better about life and about yourself and you are far more likely to be kind and compassionate to others.
If you would like to know more about me and my work, please explore my website here.
Also, if you know anyone who might get value from this article please email or retweet it or share it on Facebook.
No Plans for the Holidays? How To Enjoy Them Anyway
It’s very easy to fall into a “poor me, nobody loves me, I’m going to go eat worms” state of mind when you don’t have any invitations for the holidays. Alternatively, you could choose to enjoy your holidays anyway. It’s all in how you see it and who you hold accountable for the situation. Here are some strategies that might help you sort your situation out and maybe, just maybe, have your best holiday season yet.
Regardless of what activities you engage in over the holidays, be sure to take the time to
connect in your heart to the spirit of the holidays. For example, on Thanksgiving, whether with a crowd or by yourself, dive into the wellspring of gratitude for all you do have in your life and allow yourself to sense the oneness with others who will be acknowledging their blessings as well. My wish for you is that you treasure yourself and take the very best care of yourself possible… and have some fun!
If you would like to know more about me and my work, please explore my website here.
Also, if you know anyone who might get value from this article please email or retweet it or share it on Facebook.
The Top 5 Things to Do When a Loved One Is Dying
I have far more I’d like to say on this topic than can be contained in a single post. So I will summarize my top five here and do follow-up articles on each of the five in the future series, What To Do When A Loved One Is Dying: Parts 1-5.
1. Don’t assume you are supposed to know what to do.
We live in a death-denying culture that has a hard time even saying the word “death.” Needless to say, we are not taught how to face our own death or that of a loved one, and are likely to panic in death’s presence. Or at the very least, we’re likely to be ill at ease because we don’t know what to do or not do. So start by recognizing this state of affairs, and don’t pressure yourself to “do it right.” When someone you love is dying, it’s okay to be a mess — just try not to dump your mess on others — especially the one who is dying.
This goes for others as well. No two people are going to respond the same way and most will be woefully unprepared and unskilled at dealing with the situation. This will not, however, stop some from shirking their responsibility or being self-appointed bullies demanding that others follow their lead.
Lead with your heart — keep your love flowing with the dying person and others as well — if possible. Nothing is more important than loving each other. Do your best and then some.
2. Make it a priority to demonstrate your love for the person who is dying.
The fact that your loved one is dying can be overwhelming and scary. Do your best not to let that get in the way of keeping your love alive as you see them off on their journey into the unknown territory of death. Love them up, down and sideways, but don’t make a big deal about it — just let your love flow and watch for little things that you can do to be of service to them. If you enter your loved one’s room and say something like, “Your color looks good today,” when you both know he or she is dying, your real communication says, “I can’t handle this and need to pretend it isn’t happening.” Be honest. Be authentic. Be you. It’s okay to let them see your fear and distress, but don’t let that overshadow your love. Express your gratitude to them for the ways they enriched your life, share happy memories and yes, do say goodbye — but do it tenderly. Don’t be afraid to touch the dying. Nothing communicates our love more than holding hands and stroking our loved one’s hair.
Tailor your efforts according to the time available. Respect the fact that time can be very short from hearing the prognosis to the actual time of death. One of my personal pet peeves is when people are inconvenienced by the news, as though their loved one should have checked on their availability rather than having the audacity to sound the red alert at an inopportune moment. When your mother has a 50/50 chance of making it through the night, you don’t show up four days later!
3. Respect the authority of the dying to make his or her own decisions.
The person who is dying is the boss. If they are conscious enough to be making their own decisions — don’t bully them into doing things your way. Just as sure as you are that your way is right for you, know that their way is right for them no matter how different it is from your own. If someone holding a healthcare proxy is in charge, his or her authority is to be equally respected. Ideally, each of us gets our ducks in a row before our dying time. In reality, most do not. As a result, a lot of financial, legal, physical, mental, emotional and spiritual life-or-death decisions get made in a hurry, at the last minute. This can cause a lot of chaos, confusion, conflict and mixed up emotions among family and loved ones. Do your best to quickly align yourself with the wishes of the dying. It is their death, not yours.
4. Accept that he or she is dying. Don’t fight against it.
It’s fine to hope that things will turn around and death will be postponed. However, if death is what is happening, it helps enormously to accept that fact. We are taught to fight against death like it is an evil monster. In fact, death is as normal as birth — we just haven’t been trained to see it that way. I find it sad when doctors and loved ones subject the dying to endless invasive drugs, tests and procedures when it is obvious that it is time to die. I am an enthusiastic supporter of hospice care for the dying.
Each of us is born one moment of one day, we die one moment of another day and have an unknown number of days to live in between. Make the most of the time you and your loved one have left together. Fill it with tenderness and be of loving service to their wishes and needs. Give them a good send off.
5. Contribute to maintaining a peaceful environment.
When someone is dying, they have enough to do handling their own process, which might include physical pain, fear, emotional turmoil, confusion, regrets, etc. Assume that any discord in their environment will add to their load and be unkind on the part of those causing it. Even if the dying person is seemingly unconscious, assume he or she can hear and be affected by everything that happens around them. If family members are squabbling, take it outside of the room. Consider the dying room a sacred space where only love and comforting activities are allowed unless the dying person requests otherwise.
Just give your loved one the best send off possible leaving no regrets.
If you would like to know more about me and my work, please explore my website here.
Also, if you know anyone who might get value from this article please email or retweet it or share it on Facebook.
Do You Need to Lighten Up Your Life?
Lightening up your life is about choosing to transform your trials and tribulations into revelations and intentionally engaging in the journey of uplifting your consciousness. Light is not only one of my favorite topics but something we all need to understand better if we want to sit in the driver’s seat of our own lives.
On the physical level of our existence, light exists as a reflection. What we see is the electromagnetic radiation of wavelengths. This illumination or giving off of light is what allows us to see one another and the world around us. In order to be seen or to see in the physical world, we move out of darkness into light.
In the non-physical or spiritual realms, light is a state of being or awareness. Some speak of the “I am” presence — the awareness of one’s true self or identity being spiritual in nature rather than the physical identification of one’s self as a body with a personality. Physically, you reflect light. Spiritually, you are light. Put the two together and you become quite magnificent!
There is a bridge between the light of the physical and spiritual worlds. This bridge is your consciousness — what you think, what you believe, where you focus your attention or awareness and thereupon take action. Unless and until you decide to shed light on this process, your default settings carry on diligently — most often without your awareness. Aristotle uses the metaphor of light to exemplify how an active intellect works — the one who makes choices, takes actions (both physical and non-physical), the one who turns on the light, so to speak.
I had a dream once where my mother and I were in a huge domed room filled with windows of all shapes and sizes — each with its own customized window shade. Some of the shades were fully drawn while others were partially or completely rolled up exposing the light. My mother asked, “What should we do?” to which I replied, “Open as many as we can to get as much light shining in here as possible.”
Years later, life has taught me that each of us has a different tolerance and desire for light — both physically and spiritually. I don’t say that as a judgment, but rather as an observation of our individualized path of personal evolution. Notice how much light you are willing to shed on your life’s journey.
Some people are so busy reciting their woes and experiencing themselves as victims of the circumstances and people in their lives that it never occurs to them that they have the power to change how they perceive their situation. This is another classic example of “Is your cup half empty or half full?” Are you so busy keeping track of every disappointment or irritation in your life that you are missing the opportunity of being grateful for what is going well at the same time? If you are one who sees the potential for more light in your life, consider some of the following wisdom and techniques for gaining more altitude so you can see more clearly what is really going on.
Next time you are in a foul mood, try this simple technique:
If that doesn’t improve how you feel, try asking yourself the following questions:
Each of us chooses the quality of our lives through the choices me make and those we avoid. If your life isn’t bringing you happiness, satisfaction, learning and growth then maybe it’s time to take a better look at how you are creating, promoting and allowing what is present in your life. Shine some light on your repetitive thoughts and feelings and you are sure to find some clues of what you could be doing differently to yield better results.
If you would like to know more about me and my work, please explore my website here.
Also, if you know anyone who might get value from this article please email or retweet it or share it on Facebook.
Do You Have ‘The Little Blue Book’ in Your House?
If you are wondering what I’m talking about, it is for you that I am writing this blog! Here’s the bottom line: We were all born one moment of one day, and each of us is going to die one moment of another day — we just don’t get to know when that will be. For some of us, that is a major source of anxiety. Furthermore, we live in a society that has kept us in the dark about what to expect when we, or someone we love, dies. This absence of knowledge not only makes us ill-prepared to face death, but it feeds our fear of death, which in turn diminishes our enjoyment of life.
It is perfectly normal to have some anxiety or fear about death, and in fact, most death-related anxiety is actually about the process of dying rather than about being dead. That’s where the little blue book comes in — this little 14-page blue booklet gently, kindly, and in a matter-of-fact manner explains the dying experience in such a way that it brings its readers great comfort. So why not reach for that comfort sooner rather than later? Why live with death anxiety on autopilot in the background of your mind? Why wait and find yourself called to the bedside of a dying loved one unprepared for what you will encounter and not knowing what to do?
Most people working in the field of dying, death, and grieving know about “the little blue book,” as it has come to be known. Many hospice and palliative care organizations around the country give this book to their dying patients and their loved ones to ease them through the dying experience. It is entitled Gone From My Sight: The Dying Experience and is written by Barbara Karnes, RN, who was one of the pioneers of the hospice movement in this country in the early 1970s. To learn more about Barbara and her work, visit her website at https://www.bkbooks.com. Barbara’s other three titles are: The Eleventh Hour: A Caring Guideline For The Hours To Minutes Before Death (my personal favorite), My Friend, I Care: The Grief Experience, and A Time to Live: Living with a Life-Threatening Illness. All are available on her website.
This blog is not meant to be an advertisement for Barbara and her work, but rather I am shouting from the rooftops to spread the word that each and every one of us has the opportunity to prevent the needless suffering that our fundamental ignorance about the dying process brings. Not knowing what is normal and what the signs of the end of life are, we often cling desperately to life, relying on physicians to come up with a pill or procedure that will prolong our lives. Sometimes this is reasonable, but often the dying and their loved ones simply lack the understanding of the dying process that would enable them to consider the relative wisdom of further medical interventions or the timing of opening the door to palliative care.
Those of us who work in the field of dying, death, and grieving have satchels of stories about the ways people suffer unnecessarily through their own death or at the bedside of a loved one. Not knowing what to expect, what is normal, and how to support and comfort a loved one who is dying makes us ill at ease which detracts from a tranquil environment for the dying.
As someone who writes often about dying, death, and grieving, I am quite passionate about the need for a basic education of the general public about this topic. That’s why I would go so far as to say that if I were queen of the world, I would make Barbara’s books required reading for everyone and as important as a fire extinguisher to have in your home!
The vast majority of us will die of old age and/or prolonged illness. Having Barbara’s books on hand when you or a loved one begins the end of life’s journey empowers you all to do your very best to provide a loving, comforting, and supportive sendoff. Rather than worrying about what you should or shouldn’t do, what’s normal and what isn’t, and how to be the greatest comfort to your loved one, empower yourself with some basic education and serve as an example to others. Sitting at your dying mother’s bedside, when you know that what you are observing is normal, you can encourage her and let her know she is doing a great job of dying. In this case, a little knowledge is a very powerful, wise, and comforting thing.
If you would like to know more about me and my work, please explore my website here.
Also, if you know anyone who might get value from this article please email or retweet it or share it on Facebook.
The Importance of Awakening Your Inner Spiritual Authority
I was raised Catholic by a Catholic mother and a Lutheran father and lived in a community where I had a lot of Jewish friends. That was my world view as far as religion was concerned: Catholic, Protestant and Jewish until my mother gave me a book one Christmas — about the world’s great religions — that opened my mind up to a world beyond my immediate circumstances.
I was taught that one of the motivations for being “good” was that when you died, you would go either to Heaven, Hell or Purgatory. Those who went to Heaven would be with God, those in Hell spend eternity with the Devil and the in-between cases, who needed some more purification before going to Heaven, would go to Purgatory. My mind as a child accepted the logic of that as abstract as it was.
It was Limbo that bothered me because those who were not baptized in a Christian faith were considered to have not had the stain of original sin removed from their souls and would therefore spend eternity in Limbo with no chance of ascending to Heaven. I remember being deeply bothered by this because it meant that none of my Jewish friends or their families could ever, ever be with God. That made me very sad, and while I never told them so, I felt very sorry for them. I imagined Limbo to be somewhere up in the clouds and filled with hammocks that inhabitants occupied for eternity — which certainly seemed better than Hell, but hopeless.
This was the only teaching I ever had on the subject of what happens to us when we die until my 30s when Buddhist teachings about life and death started showing up in bookstores. Instinctively, I resonated with the concept of reincarnation and our essential identity as souls. I began to develop an eclectic spirituality as I awakened a sense of the truth that lived within me. In the process, I stopped practicing Catholicism and found a different path of spiritual nurturance.
I confess to being outraged when I read a tiny news item in 2007 claiming that the Roman Catholic Church eliminated the concept of Limbo because it “reflected an unduly restrictive view of salvation.” What? What about all those souls hanging out in hammocks for all these centuries? What happened to them? Was there a relocation program? Or were they never there in the first place? How do you erase a concept that you have preached as truth to millions of people without so much as an apology for messing with our worldview all these years? Why was this taught in the first place? What other parts of the Catholic Church’s interpretive doctrine or that of other religious organizations should people be careful about blindly accepting? It’s not as with science where a newly discovered fact negates a previous theory about the world we live in.
For me, this raises a critically important issue for all believers of all religious and spiritual traditions. On the one hand, I think that leaders of any religious/spiritual tradition should hold themselves accountable for clearly distinguishing between fact and leaps of faith. There should be a warning label or blanket disclaimer that simply states, “this is what we believe to be true.” I think personal discernment should be encouraged rather than shunned as indicating a lack of faith. On the other hand, I believe that ultimately each of us must wrestle with our own inner awakening of what we believe to be truth — not because someone else told us so, but because we have taken it upon ourselves to find and embrace a deeper sense of meaning regarding matters of God and the meaning of life and death. It’s easy to unconsciously and blindly follow teachings presented by others — especially when we are children and our parents — our Gods — tell us what is true. But eventually, it is our personal responsibility to take over authority for what we choose to follow as truth. In the realms of religion and spirituality, many of us are innocent babes in the wood. We deserve to be guided with the utmost care.
If you would like to know more about me and my work, please explore my website here.
Also, if you know anyone who might get value from this article please email or retweet it or share it on Facebook.
Advance Healthcare Planning Part One: Not Just for Old People
There’s been a big push in recent years to educate the public about Advance Healthcare Planning (AHP). The focus has been primarily on the forms you need to fill out and why they are so important. But, there is so much more to it than filling out forms that is far more important and will be discussed in Part 2 of this article. For now, let’s focus on what Advance Healthcare Planning is and who needs it.
Advance Healthcare Planning is about providing clear and convincing evidence of your wishes in the event of a life or death health crisis when you are unable to speak on your own behalf. Here’s how AHP works. The legal requirements, forms, and recommendations for expressing your wishes are regulated by each state and vary from state to state. There are lots of great websites that will let you know what is required in your state. One of my favorites is http://www.caringinfo.org. It provides extremely clear information about AHP, what you need to know, and provides downloadable forms for each state. If you are someone who spends a significant amount of time in a second or third state, such as many “snowbirds” do,” be sure to fill out forms for both states and carry them with you when you travel. This is important because not all states have reciprocity with one another.
Generally speaking, there are two documents involved. The first is a Healthcare Proxy, which is a legal document in which you empower someone else to speak on your behalf regarding end-of-life health care. The second is a Living Will, which is not a legal instrument, but is intended for the purpose of giving specific information about what kinds of life sustaining treatments you do and do not want. Unfortunately, most of us have been presented with these documents as part of a package of forms that we are filling out with our attorney as part of our estate planning or we are asked to fill them out when being admitted to the hospital. As a result, we rarely understand their full implications and intricacies and fill them out in a rush.
Now, let’s look at who needs a health care proxy and a living will. The answer is simple — every adult who is mentally competent. I know, most people think you don’t need to worry about this stuff until you are old, but the reality is you don’t have to be old to die. Death and health tragedies happen every single day to healthy young people texting in cars, drinking and driving, on the football field, in domestic disputes, and innumerable other ways. For example, we have a new baby in our family who was just named after his mother’s brother who died at the age of 17 in a bizarre car accident.
Dealing with these realities is hard in a society that perpetuates a death taboo that makes us not want to think about, talk about, or deal with the realities of aging, dying, and death. However, educating ourselves about these normal parts of life and taking responsibility for ourselves by living with our affairs in order is a matter of personal responsibility. Plain and simple, there are two great reasons for tending to your advance health care planning. First, it is the only way to make sure that your voice is heard if and when a health crisis arises and you are unable to speak for yourself. Second, it avoids family trauma and squabbling over what should or shouldn’t be done for you in time of crisis. So, if you don’t yet have your advance health care plans in order, what possible good reason do you have? Please, please, please make this an urgent priority. And, please read Part 2 of this article, which will provide lots of the ins and outs and intricacies of how to really make sure your advance health care plans work for you.
If you would like to know more about me and my work, please explore my website here.
Also, if you know anyone who might get value from this article please email or retweet it or share it on Facebook.
Is Death the End Or Is There Something More?
No doubt, most of us, if given the choice, would prefer to die peacefully in our sleep with no unfinished business with ourselves or others. This we call “a good death.” But it is important to look below the surface of this idea to understand its misconceptions.
The culture of death in the United States is beginning to get a much needed renovation. We have all been brainwashed for far too long by a death taboo that immigrated to our shores from Europe and has dominated our conception of death ever since. In my upcoming book, Shining Light on Dying and Death, I explain the causes, dynamics, and consequences of this death taboo and how it has handicapped us from having a healthy relationship with death. Readers are then engaged in a process that gets them out from under its influence.
Consider the following images representative of an Internet image search of the word, “Death.”
Notice that they are black and white images of skulls, skeletons, crossbones, and the Grim Reaper. These images originated in the 1300s in Europe when the Black Plague wiped out 50 percent of the population. They were sketched by people then who pinned them to their clothing in an effort to fool Death into passing over them, thinking they were already dead. What kind of feelings do these images evoke in you? For most, it is the kind of fear that makes us avoid death “like the plague.” Yet, no one gets out of here alive. When we run away from those things we find uncomfortable or are downright terrified of, we never learn how to face our fears and strengthen our capacity to move through the trials and tribulations that simply come with the territory of being alive.
This avoidance of death has evolved into a resistance to all forms of pain and suffering and the illusion that a “good” life or a “good” death is devoid of suffering. Yet, if we stop to think about it, some of the greatest treasures of our lives have come through some form of suffering. Our pain and suffering often draw us closer to one another giving us the opportunity to demonstrate and deepen our love through acts of compassion, kindness, and caring. In order to meet our life’s challenges, we enter into them rather than running away from them and find that we are strengthened and learn to build our character and fortitude.
There are other ways of seeing death that reflect a different kind of relationship to dying and death and thus an alternative response to fear. Consider this set of images from an Internet search of the phrase “Near Death Experience.”
What do these images suggest? What kind of feelings do they evoke in you? Notice the hint of pastel colors, the beckoning light, and the sense of some part of us rising up from our dead body. These images also suggest the unknown or unknowable quality of death, but not in a fearful way. It is more of a sense of transition into something or somewhere else. If you live in fear of death, consider the possibility of what it would feel like had you been “brainwashed” with images like these.
Another consideration contrasting these two sets of images is that the “Death” images imply that death is the opposite of life – ie you are either alive or dead. The “Near Death Experience” images suggest a cycle of transformation where death is the opposite of birth, set apart by life. In other words, “we” are born, we live, we die, we are reborn, we live, we die, etc. It is interesting to note that when I first did this image comparison about six years ago, there was no overlap of these images. Yet, today, I found images of moving into a tunnel of light among the “Death” images. This is new and encouraging news about our renovation of the culture of death in America.
If we are more open-minded and have a healthier concept of death, then we are likely to also have a far different way of responding to suffering. Some believe that suffering can be better understood within the context of karmic accretions (both positive and negative) from the past (both within this life and previous incarnations) that are being balanced as we experience the fullness of life. In this understanding, we are not so concerned with what looks and feels good as with what is beneficial and productive to our journey through life. There is an implication that we are doing some kind of important inner work that belies the understanding of our small, personality selves.
Looking at the pain and suffering of living and dying within this context suggests that a “good death” for example might not be the one that looks peaceful and isn’t messy, but rather the one that accomplishes what that soul needed to have happen to complete its work in this lifetime. For some, this might be attractive, while for others it might be extremely difficult to endure or bear witness to. Who are we to judge? Being open to the fullness of living and dying allows us to take advantage what life has to offer and as Mavis Leyrer advises, “Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely, in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ‘Holy shit, what a ride!'”
If you would like to know more about me and my work, please explore my website here.
Also, if you know anyone who might get value from this article please email or retweet it or share it on Facebook.