“If I am not for myself, then who will be for me?
And if I am only for myself, then what am I?
And if not now, when?” — Rabbi Hillel

“The problem which divides people today is not a political problem;
it is a social one.
It is a matter of knowing which will get the upper hand,
the spirit of selfishness or the spirit of sacrifice;
whether society will go for ever-increasing enjoyment and profit,
or for everyone devoting themselves to the common good.” — Frederic Ozanam

We are social beings confronted with the fact that while many of us do as we please without concern for others, we cannot do so without affecting them. No matter how we isolate ourselves or ignore the plight of others, we still live in a web of relationships where our actions have consequences.

When resources are perceived to be limited, greed is an ethical issue whereby claiming
more for one’s self is done at the expense of others. Whether apportioning pieces of mother’s apple pie or the world’s crude oil reserves, the division of finite resources has consequential impact on all. How resources are distributed within a society is a function of its sense of separation or wholeness and its inclination toward internal competition or cooperation. This sets the moral tone of a society. When individuals disengage from concern for one another by becoming increasingly competitive, manipulative, and self-serving, morality is eroded.

Currently, we are socially programmed to believe that “more is better.” This perpetuates the illusion that one who has more is more valuable and successful than one who has less. We are taught that our self worth is contingent upon external standards of competition and accumulation of stuff. This consumes us in an insatiable quest for status driven by escalating desires. What one “needs” is no longer simply a matter of survival, but an expression of one’s ego as it seeks to distinguish itself from others striving to acquire the label “successful.” The urge to “measure up” propels us into a repetitive cycle of greed, seeking satisfaction and fulfillment through material gain. This drama is rooted in a “consciousness of lack.” Snared in greed’s grip, we are blind to the need to build community around a higher purpose than mere self-interest and material accumulation.

According to psychologist Lawrence Kohlberg, within the normal course of human development one evolves morally past the egocentricity of childhood into broader social perspectives, acquiring increasing sensitivity to the needs of others. However, his model assumes a social environment that encourages this process of moral development. Looking at American society today, it is apparent that many powerful societal forces including individualism, materialism, competition, capitalism, and the monetary measurement of success combine to stimulate our greed which in turn inhibits our moral maturation. There is nothing inherently wrong with material success and pleasures. However, when an entire society places too much emphasis on them, it pays the price of inclining its members toward moral and spiritual bankruptcy. Consumed by perceptions of lack, individuals and society as a whole turn their focus outward to patterns of unfulfilled desires rather than inward to the process of awakening awareness of the transcendental purpose of our lives.

A spiritual perspective on greed assumes belief in something greater than the identification of ourselves as merely bodies with personalities. It necessitates belief in something transcendent with which we ultimately reconcile our thoughts and behaviors. Over 95 percent of Americans claim to believe in God or some higher power. Yet, belief can be anything from a mere intellectual leap of faith to the very foundation upon which one lives life. While a hollow “belief” does little for us, actively living life in relationship to God obliges us to come to terms with our own finite nature and to live our life as an expression of our relationship to this God or sacred purpose.

In Buddhism, there are three concepts of evil: greed which involves pulling things toward the self; anger which is pushing things away from the self; and ignorance which is the result. Similarly, the fundamental principle of Taoism is the existence of “Tao” or “the way” a natural order or oneness in the universe from which nothing can be separated. Taoism teaches that one lives successfully only by surrendering to and cooperating with this implicit order. This does not suggest passivity, but rather an active disengagement from illusions of desire. One learns that to desire anything other than that which is, or to manipulate events or relationships to achieve personally desired outcomes is to violate this natural order.

Spiritually, greed can be seen as an expression of impatience and a judgment against God as having failed or forgotten to adequately provide for us. When we misinterpret a perceived lack as evidence that God has abandoned or failed us, there is a temptation to align ourselves with something more tangible, material, and seemingly controllable. Material greed is one of the fundamental ways through which this desire for self-will expresses itself. Doubting the existence or benevolence of God, we seek to live independently of God’s will as the guiding principle of life. Feeling out of control and afraid of suffering, we fire God, attempt to usurp command and play God. This ultimate rebellion against authority is fundamentally a crisis of faith.

While the Ten Commandments primarily identify forbidden actions, greed and the other Seven Deadly Sins and their counterparts in non-Christian traditions are about wrongful desires that are “off course” — that is, out of alignment with God or goodness or the Tao of life. Becoming ensnared in patterns of wrongful desire creates separation from others and from God.

Religious and spiritual teachings are filled with guidance on practicing generosity and gratitude rather than greed. For example, in Deuteronomy 26:1, people are obligated to bring the first annual fruits of the land to the Temple in thanks and gratitude to God.

Buddha teaches about freedom from addictions and desires. The essential dilemma of human life, as Buddha presents it, is that people get caught in time craving and desiring such transient things as beauty, youth, money, power, and the illusion of independence. When we become fixated upon these, we demand and pursue their fulfillment. This kind of attachment causes suffering because, in essence, we are attempting to make time stand still in order to gain a sense of power and control over our world.

In Christian teachings, greed is one of the four horsemen of the Apocalypse appearing in the second of John’s seven visions where the consciousness is cleared and lifted by overcoming false types of thinking. The establishment of right thinking occurs through a reversal from an outward to an inward pursuit of happiness.

It seems that life is ironically yet exquisitely designed to teach us lessons through polar opposites. For example, we come to know light only through the presence of darkness. And greed’s opportunity is not through its fulfillment, but rather in recognizing its presence as feedback that we are moving further away from the true source of happiness in our lives.

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Whenever we view something as permanent, reliable and unchangeable, we eventually find that time or the alteration of the parameters of our perspective reveal an underlying impermanence. For example, many people say that the only things one can count on are death and taxes. However, those who believe in reincarnation refute the finality of death and many escape from the inevitability of taxes through loopholes. Even gravity, which we take as a given on planet Earth, is not universal in outer space. The very cells of our bodies regenerate on a regular basis.

In the physical world, we think of rocks and mountains as immutable. Yet, vast changes happen over time. A beach you went to as a child may have since disappeared, and over millions of years the erosion by the Colorado River created the Grand Canyon.

It is unfortunate that whatever we are inclined to see as constant in the natural world eventually inspires us to exploit it. Conceivably, concern for the precarious nature of our lives motivates us to conquer our environment so that we may experience the thrill of control and triumph. What is it that makes the pervasive impermanence in our lives so frightening? Maybe it is because it is so non-negotiable and therefore seems to undermine our self-importance.

Emotionally, many of us yearn for permanence by seeking to alter the terms and conditions of our lives. We dream of utopias where only good and happy things come our way. We want financial security and happy families, good health, and access to the fountain of youth. When we find a deep and abiding friendship or love, we want it to retain its intensity and deliciousness. Often, we resort to manipulating our loved ones and ourselves to perpetuate the exhilaration. Yet the tighter our grip, the faster its fleet.

What becomes permanent is often only that which has solidified in our minds — our prejudices, habits, beliefs and inclinations. But, like rock, these too can be altered if we use wisdom. However, as long as our myopic vision persists, we tend to live in a fixed, uncompromising relationship with the world around us. Those who disagree with us are likely to be perceived as wrong, their viewpoints discredited as inferior and therefore not meriting consideration. Such a dynamic all too often rules our politics and our most intimate relationships. When we live this way it is as though we dance a rigid box step rather than fluidly and expansively expressing our being.

Thomas Jefferson thought that truth and beauty were immutable. Ironically, this cannot be objectively proven since the non-material is experienced subjectively through our inner awareness and experience. One’s beliefs and point of view may seem validated by similar observations or experiences of others, but such proof is a personal, not a collective matter. So, perhaps it is not truth and beauty themselves that are permanent, but rather our quest for them and our desire to transfix them.

There is, of course, another way of relating to the impermanence of our lives. Although we live in an outer world that is defined by time and space, the air we breathe and the sights we see, we also live in an inner world of reactions to our reality in the form of the mental constructs and emotional patterns we create. For example, when I get a hair permanent, it only lasts three or four months despite its name. Yet, I resent this and feel that it should last longer. Ah, there’s that red flag word “should” — a sure sign that those who use it do not accept the present circumstances of their lives. When we use “should” we disapprove, resist, and resent that we must live as mere mortals and tolerate what we do not like. Ironically, we become attached to those things we resist.

However, when we harness our discomforts differently, we may use them as steppingstones to attain a more mature state of consciousness. Recognizing that within our interior world we have a far greater opportunity to change the quality of our lives. By merely altering our external circumstances, we learn to focus on our reactions rather than on what we are reacting to. Instead of ranting, raving and resisting that which is unpleasant or outside our control, we can surrender into and embrace the experience. This has two primary benefits. First, it allows us to disconnect our sense of well-being from our ability to manipulate and control the outside world. Second, it teaches us how to create a sense of inner well-being by tuning into the fact that each characteristic of the world we live in also teaches us how to live in relationship with it. For example, the duality of permanence and impermanence offers us a lesson in patience, surrender, cooperation and acceptance.

Consider, for example, that our society teaches that marriage should last forever. Yet, over half end in divorce and so the parameters of “forever” have changed. At the turn of the 20th century, due to a shorter life expectancy, “forever” might have lasted only 20 to 30 years. Today, “forever” for a first marriage entered in the 20s, might mean as long as 60 or 70 years. Given our changing gender roles and our tendency to resist different points of view, the expectation of permanence of relationships might not be a realistic goal for most couples, despite their religious beliefs. Some find it wiser to accept the precarious nature of relationships and seek longevity not through rigid roles and rules, but by learning to shoot the rapids of life together. By balancing their strengths and weaknesses, cultivating curiosity, accepting each other’s differences, and learning to compromise and cooperate, they are able to build inner flexibility and strength as individuals and the bond of their love grows stronger as it matures. In so doing, whether their marriage lasts a short time or a lifetime, the quality of their experience is greatly enriched and valued more dearly than the duration of the relationship.

Since impermanence is the only permanent feature of our lives on planet Earth, we ought to work with it rather than against it. Embracing change might be the greatest stress reducer we’ll ever find.

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How much time do you spend dwelling on the past or worrying about the future? These mental and emotional creations are all figments of your imagination — mockups of how reality might be different. Meanwhile, reality is staring you right in the face, and your attention is not present to deal with it. When you spend too much of your time and attention creating more shoulda-woulda-couldas, your disappointments and anticipations just keep piling up while your life passes you by. Let’s take a look at why we do this and how we can get far more satisfaction out of life by staying present in the here and now.

Plain and simple: if your consciousness isn’t in the present moment, then you lose the opportunity to participate in the experiences and choices that are present right. Since you can only take action in the present moment, when you focus on the past or future, you are not available to participate in the present. Then your life happens based on whatever autopilot settings you have in place because you are not there to direct your actions and experiences.

When we focus on the past or the future, it is usually because we are not at peace with them. Instead, we are looking at them through a veil of frustration, worry, judgment, fear and illusions. Unable to accept the past or lacking confidence in our own ability to handle the future, we end up mistaking our negative mental and emotional creations for reality. Burdened by our own negativity, we often wreak havoc in our relationships. For example, when we can’t handle what is going on in our life, some of us project our accumulated fears and anxiety onto someone else, and that’s what we see when we look at that person. I had someone do this to me to the point that the “me” she called by my name was a complete figment of her imagination and there was no sense trying to set her straight, because she refused to be confused by facts. The “me” she envisioned bore no resemblance to the person I know myself to be. It caused so many problems that I had to eventually stop all contact with her. Did you ever have someone do that to you? Did you ever do this to someone else? In a way, we all do this to some extent as we interpret each other through our own perceptual filters. In the extreme, it becomes farther and farther removed from reality and is unhealthy and dangerous.

If you are spending your precious time and energy worrying about the past and/or the future, it is probably creating problems in your relationships with others as well as your relationship with yourself. Here are some ideas to get free so you can fully participate in the present without your pleasant personality taking a hiatus.

Worrying About the Past:

Without a doubt, the past is gone. Unfortunately, when we carry it with us every day, our hurt feelings, judgments and anger keep recycling within us. We try to put a stop to it through pronouncements about the future, declaring, “I will never let _____ happen again!” These efforts at controlling our life are largely wishful thinking. So, unless you feel totally at peace with yourself, make it a daily or weekly routine to ask yourself these questions:

• What unresolved pieces of my past am I carrying with me today?
• Why am I still carrying that?
• What do I need to do to let it go?

Make it a priority in your life to lighten the load you carry by letting go of what has happened in the past.

Worrying About the Future:

The more time we spend worrying about what might happen in the future, the less time, focus and energy we have to contribute to creating what we want now. Worrying is a way of investing in not getting what we want. It produces the opposite of what we wish would happen. When we hold images and thoughts in our mind of things going “wrong” (i.e., not the way we imagine would be the best outcome), we are literally feeding our energy into the undesirable outcome. When you find yourself worrying about something, here are two constructive actions to take:

1. Bring to mind the image of what you would like to have happen. See it in great detail. See yourself in the picture feeling the way you would like to be feeling. If you are someone who prays, then simply pray that this or something better come forward for you and for the highest good of all concerned. Alternatively, simply let the image go once you have fully embraced what you want to create, promote and allow to come forward in your life.
2. Having created a mock-up of what you would like to bring forward in your life, ask yourself, “What can I do right now to contribute to bringing this forward?’ and do that. Connect the dots of your present and future by walking the talk of what you want to bring forward in your life.

The only opportunity we have to take action in our lives is in the present moment. The more we free ourselves from our thoughts and feelings about the past and future, the more of our time and focus we will have available to invest in what we want to create, promote and allow into our lives and the healthier we will be in our relationships with others. Mental and emotional freedom yield great happiness.

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“Good and quickly seldom meet.”
— Anonymous

Do you move through space and time too fast, too slow or just right? Do you find yourself rushing about or dragging yourself around? Why is it so important to pay attention to this? When we step out of that pace and find ourselves either rushing about like a chicken with its head cut off, or dragging ourselves around like dead weight, life can be very challenging. Paying attention to your inner feedback and the responses from your universe can assist you in finding your optimum pace.

When we rush, it is usually because we have either been procrastinating, or are setting unrealistic expectations. Here are several things that happen when we rush around and try to do too much at once:

• We behave clumsily, dropping things and having mini-accidents like stubbing a toe, or in some cases major accidents.
• We tend to commit more mistakes and as a result become less efficient rather than more (which is often our goal when in a rush).
• We become more forgetful.
• We drive much too fast, to “save time.”
• We find ourselves frustrated and agitated by things that would normally be within our tolerance level. As a result we can become short-tempered and make “mountains out of molehills.”
• We tend to feel burdened and overwhelmed, rather than enjoy our lives.

Sound familiar? But what happens when you rush around faster than what is comfortable for you? Are the few extra minutes you might gain worth the price you pay?

Rushing around really doesn’t get us where we want to be any faster. In fact, it just makes us feel out of sorts, unpleasant to be around, feeding into the increased probability that we will have some sort of accident.

The good news is that it is very easy to re-enter your comfort zone once you see what you are doing. Here are my favorite ways to recapture my sense of well-being:

• The mere act of observation, gives you the opportunity to make another choice.
• Once you see what you are doing, you can take a mental picture of yourself and have a good laugh.
• Try coming to a complete stop, taking a few deep breaths and reprioritizing what needs to be done.
• Remind yourself that life is precious and when you are rushing around you are not enjoying the journey of your life. Make it a point to smell some roses and lilacs, or delight in the smile of a child or passerby.

On the flip side, you have probably noticed that you are not typically very happy when you are going more slowly than your comfortable pace. It is very easy to fall into the habit of vegging out, playing computer games, watching TV or falling prey to some other mindless distraction while ignoring all the things you need to be doing. We all need to tune out from time to time, but when it becomes our way of life, it’s worth taking a closer look and considering the alternatives. Here’s what I have noticed happens when we drag ourselves around:

• Usually there is some mental or emotional challenge present that we are having difficulty dealing with and so we avoid it with these behaviors.
• Low energy tends to result in isolating ourselves and feeling disconnected from others.
• Lethargy has a cumulative impact that results in making excuses for not going to the gym or choosing less healthy foods because we can’t be bothered cooking a healthier meal for ourselves.
• We become self-judgmental when we are not keeping up with the pace of our life for more than a few hours or a day here and there.

What else happens to you when you fall into the blahs?

Here are my favorite remedies for moving out of lethargy and back into the swing of things:

• Talk to yourself and be ruthlessly honest about what you are avoiding. See if you can figure out one or two baby steps you could take that would move you in the direction of resolving the issue and talk yourself into doing those things.
• Negotiate with yourself. Make a to do list and choose three to five things that you really need to do, striking deals like, “If I get up and do the dishes right now, I can play another five games of solitaire without feeling guilty.”
• Pull in the reins on yourself and hold yourself accountable by monitoring the amount of sleep you get, the foods you are eating and your physical activity. Once those are back in balance, your energy will bounce right back.

Life appears easier when we are in the groove of our own pace and so very stressful when we are out of it. Being out of sync may not be the biggest problem in our life, but the discomfort it generates can often be avoided by checking in and taking corrective action when we get out of our groove.

Finally, when you notice that you are in your groove, going with the flow of life and enjoying your journey, pay attention to how you created that and do more and more of that. Turn on your cruise control and enjoy the ride.

If you would like to know more about me and my work, please explore my website here.

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