Did you ever notice how some things really grab your attention but not the attention of others? Or how you edit out the background noise in a bustling restaurant when you want to hear what someone at your table is saying? That’s selective attention. Both consciously and unconsciously, we edit our environment and pay attention […]
One of the biggest challenges to our sense of well-being is uncertainty about whether or not we are good enough. Many of us falsely assume that the fulfillment of our dreams for a promotion, love, weight loss or writing a best-seller is attributable to our level of worthiness. But one’s essential worthiness has nothing to […]
Many languages and cultures carry the same wisdom: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” One would think that is always good advice. However, there are two fundamental assumptions in The Golden Rule that require a note of caution in its application. Consider the following situation. Several years ago, I was […]
We live in a society that has an enormous taboo against thinking about and talking about death. Yet there is a 100 percent probability that each of us will die. For the 80 percent who do not put their affairs in order, their loved ones will pay a very heavy price both financially and emotionally. […]
Both individually and collectively, we are paying an enormous emotional and financial price for being silenced by our society’s taboo against talking about death and dying. Other societies educate their members about the reality of death and the processes of dying and grieving. We do not. We are left to figure it out for ourselves, […]
If you receive a terminal diagnosis, you may be shocked or not, but one thing is very clear, you have some important decisions to make. Others can advise you and/or express their concerns, but ultimately it is you, and only you, who must decide what course of action to take. Do you want to try […]
In response to my 8/9/10 post entitled “The Importance of End of Life Preparation,” Valencie Bathe wrote: How I want to die needs to be dinner table conversation… not whispered and forgotten. There is no shame in dying and planning to die only makes sense. But owing to undue medical and legal intervention in America, […]
There are times in life when the highest honor, the greatest love is paid to another by simply bearing witness to his or her experience. Bearing witness is largely nonverbal. It is the choice to give the gift of a pure expression of love and respect — being a compassionate observer to the unfolding of […]
This post was inspired by an email I received from a reader regarding last week’s blog, “The Power of Bearing Witness.” He wanted to know how to bear witness to a friend who had died. When bearing witness to the living, it is essential to take our cues from them. However, when bearing witness to […]
I’m sure I am not the only one who plays the game “if I were king or queen.” We all have ideas about how things shoulda, coulda, woulda been better if only the powers that be would do what we think they should. I’d like to share my personal favorite and invite you to share […]