Two of the biggest mistakes we make in figuring out what is going on in our lives are:
- to assume that our perceptions of reality match empirical reality.
- to assume that anyone who disagrees with us is simply wrong.
One of the great ironies of life is that no two people see anything exactly the same way.
Rumi taught the teaching story depicted above about four blind men encountering an elephant. Consider the significance of the following points:
- Each one encounters a different part of the elephant because the elephant is too large for anyone of them to fully know all at once.
- They are all blind.
- The “truth” of what an elephant is does not change as a result of their various points of view.
Each one of us functions the way we do as a result of our unique journey being who we are. Some of us get quite stuck and set in our ways, while others remain open – learning, evolving, and changing.
Relationships get really complicated in this context. We perceive ourselves and each other through our unique information filtering processes. The fact of the matter is that no two people will experience and understand a shared experience in exactly the same way.
Ironically, the empirical truth is often less significant than the ability of those having different points of view to seek understanding of each other. Next time you are baffled by another person’s point of view, try looking through their eyes, and see if you can get them to take a look through yours as well.
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