Archive for category: Consciousness/Thriving

 

Anytime you allow anything or anyone outside yourself to cause you to choose hurt and to be disturbed inside yourself, then you are being shown how you can strengthen your understanding of the first and second laws of Spirit, to accept and cooperate, no matter what, no matter who. That can be a very tall order that perhaps only God in the flesh could fully express.

Nonetheless, the opportunity for you to fully accept and cooperate is available which can lead to realization of understanding, enthusiasm and compassion for exactly what is the reality of the situation. — John Morton

Understanding is a quality or condition of one’s consciousness associated with perceiving and comprehending the nature and significance of a person, situation, or experience. As the laws of spirit unfold, understanding typically comes forward once acceptance and cooperation have been achieved. Sometimes this is a rapid sequence of events and other times it takes years and years to work yourself through to understanding. Personally, it’s the acceptance part that is typically the hardest for me. Once I accept something, cooperation and understanding are pretty much a no-brainer.

Have you ever had one of those implausible streams of events that led you through twists and turns to just where you needed to be for something important to line up in your life? More and more, I am finding that happening followed by an “Aha!” moment of understanding why all those things had to happen. And, because I have a deep sense of God’s presence in my life and understand the karmic component of many experiences in my life, I often smile when these things happen.

Here’s an example. I went to my sister-in-law’s retirement party and was amazed by her startling success with the Ideal Protein diet. I had been looking for many years for a weight loss program that I believed in and felt confident would bring me success. Having hurt my knee several weeks before, I went to the chiropractor when I returned. I’ve been going to her for over two years and seldom had a physical adjustment. Instead, we used NET — a muscle-testing technique that identifies and releases mental and emotional blockages held in the body. I had been doing this work primarily to prepare myself to cooperate on a mental and emotional level with whatever weight loss program I choose.

This time, my chiropractor asks me to let her brand new associate look at my knee. She does so, and with my permission, gives me extensive adjustments. While lying on my stomach, I notice that she has a reverse crease in one of her toes. Curious, I ask about it and find that it makes her self-conscious. I apologize for bringing it up. She says “No problem — it’s mine and I have to deal with it.” Now sitting up, I grab my excess belly and say “I have to deal with this.” She grabs her belly and says “I know what you mean, I have to deal with this.” I mention that I am exploring a diet program that I am interested in and tell her it is the Ideal Protein diet. She just about falls on the floor in surprise, saying she has been studying this diet for a year now and is in the process of signing up to be a coach. I jump for joy because the deal breaker for me with the program had been the requirement to drive 90 minutes to a program center each week, and she would be local! We agreed to start later this week and for about an hour the little kid inside of me was so happy I could hardly contain myself.

So, one major form of understanding that arises in our lives when we accept and cooperate with whatever is happening is the wonders of 20/20 hindsight. Things often don’t make any kind of sense when we go through them, but later we can be filled with wonder at the perfection of what has happened and how meaningful it is to us.

Sometimes I just can’t get to square one with acceptance at all, for what seems like a lifetime and understanding is inconceivable. Many of my biggest life lessons have been this kind of struggle. When I am really lucky, a miracle of grace presents me with the opportunity to understand the situation first. In these cases the acceptance and cooperation follow easily. Here is an example that relates to my belief in karma, reincarnation and our essential identity as souls.

I had an extremely difficult relationship with my father. As a child, I could never please him. At the age of 7, I overheard him tell my mother that he loved my brother and sister, but I bugged him. I carried that as proof that he didn’t love me until my 50s. Then, several years after my father’s death, I had an extraordinary spiritual understanding that instantaneously freed me of my anger toward him. I was in a class doing a guided visualization process intended to bring forward deeper awareness of ourselves as souls. In the theater of my mind, I found myself sitting in a circle with my spiritual support team with an empty guest chair. My father appeared and took that chair. I became enraged, yelling at him that he had no right entering my safe and sacred spiritual circle of support. He was silent and sat there, somewhat humbly. I raged on, confronting him with his lack of love toward me all our shared lives together, saying how much he had hurt and wounded me and that I was now moving on with people who loved and supported me, and he was not welcome, and I wanted him to leave immediately.

One of my team members put his arm around my shoulder, and said, “I have an idea.” He suggested that since my father had shown up, perhaps there was some value there for me, and how about if we listen to what he has to say and then I could throw him out if that was still want I wanted to do. Subdued and slightly embarrassed by my tantrum, I acquiesced. I looked at my father and said “OK, so what do you have to say for yourself — why should I let you stay when you never showed me one ounce of love in my entire life?” He winced, and tears fell from his eyes, which shocked and softened me somehow. He looked me straight in the eye and told me he was only doing his job — it was part of his assignment as a soul to be my father, never showing me any signs of love or affection. This was intended to serve as a means of assisting me in learning to turn inward and upward to find my truth rather than seeking it out in the world. Instantly, that made perfect sense to me. My eyes filled with tears, my anger fell away, and something let go within me that had restrained me all my life. Somehow, I knew that what he was saying was true. I also knew that for the first time in my life, I was seeing my father, a fellow human being, as a soul. We were communicating soul to soul, and that changed me forever after. The reality of our essential identities as souls came through in that moment, through that experience, in a way that redefined me.

In that moment, I glimpsed a spiritual reality so profound that it changed my history with my father. I no longer saw him as the heartless, self-centered ogre who could not and would not love me. I realized that as a soul, it had been an extraordinary act of love for him to take on that awful role in my life, knowing that I would hate him, and that he could never demonstrate his love for me or receive love from me. A deep taproot of anger, tension, and self-rejection was pulled out of me in that moment as I rose into my soul and knew us both as innocent and pure souls rather than as damaged people. We were just two sweet souls playing characters whose egos had been out of balance in the karmic dramas of our lives. I finally understood that we were right on course with God’s perfect wisdom, timing, and plan, balancing our karma and learning our lessons.

The Laws of Spirit are governing principles that provide access to the knowledge of ourselves as divine as well as human beings. In order to access our deeper spiritual truth, we must learn to accept, cooperate with and learn to understand even the most challenging people, situations, and circumstances in our lives. They guide us through a process of surrender that enables us to trust ourselves and God. Without this journey, we are left to live lives defined merely by our personalities, human faculties, and desires. It is the spiritual dimension that provides awesome meaning to our lives. The Laws of Spirit serve as the gateways to that dimension.

I hope you will tune in next week for the fourth Law of Spirit — loving. Until then, I look forward to your responses and reactions to this piece.

If you would like to know more about me and my work, please explore my website here.

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It’s very easy to fall into a “poor me, nobody loves me, I’m going to go eat worms” state of mind when you don’t have any invitations for the holidays. Alternatively, you could choose to enjoy your holidays anyway. It’s all in how you see it and who you hold accountable for the situation. Here are some strategies that might help you sort your situation out and maybe, just maybe, have your best holiday season yet.

1. Avoid the blame game: It is so easy and automatic for most people to look at being alone for the holidays as wrong, unacceptable, and a prescription for unhappiness, but it doesn’t need to be that way. Being alone — whether because of a family feud, no one thinking to invite you, or the death of a loved one with whom you would have shared the holiday — can be a blessing in disguise. So, be open to the possibility that this could be a good thing and nobody’s “fault.” Blaming yourself or others for being alone only makes matters worse and wastes a lot of your precious energy in negative thoughts and feelings. So save the energy you would otherwise have expended on blaming and judging yourself and others and put it to better use. This may be an entirely new experience for you, but that doesn’t mean it has to be unpleasant.
2. Accept the situation as it is: You don’t have to like the idea of being alone, but accepting it frees you to take action that can lead to a happy holiday. Acceptance might not come easily, but make it a goal to move past any hurt feelings or sadness you have about being alone with the intention of accepting what is so. (For more information and understanding about the power of acceptance, see my post “Acceptance: The First Law of Spirit.”)
3. If you are grieving a profound loss, be patient and tender with yourself: If you are grieving over the holidays, it may be that taking advantage of the time and emotional space to be with your grief without a pep squad of well-intentioned people trying to make you feel better could be just what you need. My first four Christmases after my mother’s death, I was at very loose ends. My Christmases were full of traditions and expressions of caring that we shared. I always extravagantly decorated the house and tree, baked too many cookies, and overdid it with presents and fabulous wrappings. Without her, all those activities seemed meaningless to me. The fifth year, I was finally ready to turn to myself rather than to others to define what kind of Christmas would make me happy. I invited friends to help decorate my tree, bought and wrapped presents for myself, had my favorite Christmas morning breakfast, giggled as I opened my presents, and cooked myself an entire turkey dinner. I had so much fun I’m going to do most of that again this year.
4. Decide to create a happy holiday for yourself: Granted, “happy” is a relative term. For some it might simply mean not feeling like an outsider at someone else’s version of the holidays, while others will want to reach out and find new people who would like to share the festivities. Think of it as “my holiday, my way.” If what you have done in the past is not an option, then do some soul-searching and consider what would be most meaningful to you. For some, giving to others serves as a reminder of our interconnectivity and the importance of looking beyond our own situation. Offering acts of service to others who are less fortunate always benefits the giver as well as the recipient.
5. Count your blessings: Here is a starter list of some of the good news about spending a holiday alone. Please feel free to share your additional ideas in the comment section at the end of this article to inspire others with new ideas.
   • A free day or weekend that you weren’t expecting to have. You can sleep late, be lazy if you wish, clean out a closet, go to the movies, read a great book, or just follow the path of serendipity.
   • Spending less money on gifts and special outfits for the occasion
   • Having more control over how much you eat and drink
   • The opportunity to create your very own holiday feast with your favorites, not someone else’s — and you get to keep all the leftovers
   • The opportunity to create your own holiday gathering, to take a trip, or to get to know yourself a little better

Regardless of what activities you engage in over the holidays, be sure to take the time to
connect in your heart to the spirit of the holidays. For example, on Thanksgiving, whether with a crowd or by yourself, dive into the wellspring of gratitude for all you do have in your life and allow yourself to sense the oneness with others who will be acknowledging their blessings as well. My wish for you is that you treasure yourself and take the very best care of yourself possible… and have some fun!

If you would like to know more about me and my work, please explore my website here.

Also, if you know anyone who might get value from this article please email or retweet it or share it on Facebook.

Have you noticed that it isn’t so much what happens to you that determines the quality of your life, but rather how well you deal with your life? It’s about what goes on inside of you that matters far more than how you measure up to some external measurement of success. I’ll take inner success any day.

We all have challenges to face — some we will see coming and others will arrive out of left field. It seems odd that we are all left to our own devices to figure out how to cope with our trials and tribulations. Why aren’t we taught some basic life wisdom and coping skills early on to better equip us for our life’s journey?

With 20/20 hindsight, here are five wisdom tidbits and coping skills that have served me best in facing the more challenging parts of my life.

1. Always look for the embedded life lesson. The question I ask myself here is “what is life trying to teach me?” Have you ever found yourself complaining about your life, claiming that you always … or you never …? These types of beliefs become self-fulfilling prophecies because our beliefs are a filter through which we encounter our lives.Think of it this way — something happens that you don’t like. You process that new experience through your existing beliefs, attitudes, and memories. That in turn generates the same old autopilot thoughts and feelings that you have always had to experiences like this. Then, your behavioral response is a fait accompli reflecting this point of view. It has become your way of experiencing your life. That’s how it works, but how’s that working for you?Remember Anthony Robbins’ quote, “If you do what you have always done, you will get what you have always gotten”? To get out of this endless loop, consider the possibility that all of your life experiences carry wisdom that is just waiting politely for you to invite it into your consciousness. So, do that. Probe deeper into your beliefs, attitudes, thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Look for patterns of how you create, promote, and allow your own suffering. Look for alternative responses. When you are open to receive life’s lessons, they don’t have to keep presenting themselves to you again and again.
2. Trust that what happens is for your highest good. Have you ever lost your job or had a loved one die unexpectedly? Did you think your world had come to an end or were you able to see beyond your fear and grief to where the blessings might be? Having shared a home with my mother for the last nine years of her life, I put much of my life on the shelf to have quality time together and to serve as her caregiver. My loss of income and social isolation were more than made up for by the precious moments and deepened love we shared. I learned things about myself and about life that I can’t imagine having encountered on my previous life trajectory. Catching a curve ball in life can open up new doors that you didn’t have any way of knowing existed. Sometimes, they are the access point to some of life’s most precious treasures.
3. Focus first on embracing the undesirable truth. Whether receiving a terminal diagnosis, watching your marriage fall apart, or not getting accepted at your first choice college or the job of your dreams — look it straight in the eye and accept it. It’s so easy to fall into immediate reactions of blaming and judging others, getting down on yourself, or simply being in shock or disbelief. I remember when I hit black ice going 60 MPH and totaled my car. Having gone backwards down a hill and having the rear end of the car sliced in half by the tree that finally stopped it, I remember my first thought was, “I’m alive.”It’s good to start with the fundamental facts and go from there with as little drama as possible. Just breathe into the present moment to bring your consciousness present to assess reality. When we start extrapolating with high drama mental and emotional scenarios, we are rocketing off into our imagination rather than being present to deal with reality. Be present in your reality, no matter how scary it is. You might just be amazed at your quick thinking, resilience, and fortitude once you accept the undesirable truth and get busy doing your best to deal with it.
4. Take care of yourself and do your best. Some of my biggest life challenges have come in the context of people who wished me ill, didn’t like me, or simply held beliefs dramatically different than my own. I have found that when I get into to trouble in these situations it is because I am focusing on trying to change the other person’s point of view or behavior towards me. When I really succeed in dealing with these situations it is because I focus on taking care of myself and loving myself through the situation rather than trying to defend myself or my point of view in an effort to change the other person. It’s taken a number of these unpleasant experiences for me to learn to let other people live their lives their way while I focus on doing my best to love, nurture, and protect myself. Opinions are like noses — everyone has one.
5. Find good help when you need it. As a life coach, I don’t view my clients as sick or broken for needing my help. I see them as the smart ones who know the value of good resources. After all, how can you be expected to know something until you learn it? Life presents learning opportunities to us all the time and sometimes we need a plumber or doctor or marriage counselor or Hospice care. If we are smart, we seek and embrace good help.

If you would like to know more about me and my work, please explore my website here.

Also, if you know anyone who might get value from this article please email or retweet it or share it on Facebook.