1. Don’t blame anyone.
Next time you feel mentally or emotionally out of balance, check in with yourself about these three points. Keeping them in mind can save you from a lot unnecessary distress.
When something happens that you don’t like, do you immediately try to blame someone? If so, consider these two points:
- Blaming assumes that something is wrong and it’s someone’s fault. That faulty assumption causes you to waste a lot of energy not only blaming someone but also justifying the fact that you are blaming them. Rather than accepting what is happening and figuring out how to best move through the situation, your energy gets caught up in a story you created to support your blaming action. Unfortunately, a lot of the stories we create in our heads don’t match what is really going on, and we waste our energy reacting to a figment of our imagination.
- Acceptance is a healthy alternative to a habitual pattern of blaming and judging others. As soon as you see yourself starting to play the blame and judgment game, stop. Nip it in the bud. Conserve your energy by choosing to break the habit. Most of us are conditioned to react negatively when something happens that we don’t like. Blaming is part of this knee jerk reaction. Life is not all pleasant. Choose to build tolerance for the things you don’t like and work on finding healthy ways to move through them with as little resistance as possible.
2. Stay focused in the present.
The present moment is the only one in which you can take any action. When we focus our attention on the past or future, we are not available to respond to whatever is going on in our present moment. If something about the past or future is of concern to you, ask yourself if there is something you can do in the present moment to address your concern. What do you need to do differently in the present to make peace with the past or future? If there is something that needs to get done – do it. If not, choose to refocus your attention on the present moment. Choose to be present in this moment of your life.
3. Assume that everything is “for” your upliftment, learning, and growth.
Instead of seeking more of what you like and trying to sanitize your life of the experiences you don’t like, try accepting it all. Seek to be at peace inside yourself regardless of what is going on in your life and the world around you. When we get caught up in patterns of judging, avoiding, and fearing our life experiences, we are fighting a losing battle. Life gives us all a wide assortment of pleasant and undesirable experiences. Accept the normalcy of life being a mixed bag. Instead of playing the victim when your life doesn’t match your preferences, try raising your consciousness to a point of view where you can assume that everything that happens in your life is offering you an opportunity to lift yourself up, to learn, and to grow. Seek those three rather than transitory preferences and you will be way ahead in the game of life.
What other secrets of success help you stay well-balanced in your life? Please share your ideas to help others.